Dina Climatiano

So in my quest to find today’s creative challenge, I perused my list of things to do this month and found “write a standup bit”.

“Hmm,” I thought, “more information is needed”.

So I scoured the internet for some guidance, and stumbled upon an “Intro to Standup”** course. “It’s only 52 minutes long… Surely I can put SOMETHING down on paper in the span of a day!”

Well, I got stuck on the first exercise, which was “write down 10 of the most mind-numbingly boring happy thoughts you can think of”.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I could think of loads of boring thoughts. Dozens. Hundreds, given the chance.

…

But happy…?

***

It was at this point I realized that maybe writing an entire comedy bit in a day was a bit of a tall order, but I can come up with at least 10 of those boring happy (or at least neutral?) observations:

1. Cats are funny
2. Nature is beautiful
3. I like sunsets
4. I love my husband
5. Clean sheets are the best
6. Exercise is important for health
7. Do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life
8. New year new me
9. Work hard play hard
10. YOLO

I’m fully aware that I’ve veered off to inspirational-insta-quotes and cliches towards the end there, but bear with me.

The second part of the exercise was subvert these observations to create surprise using my own comedic voice, so I got:

1. Cats are funny. Not so much at 3AM when they break out in song and dance on your head, but still, the entertainment potential is there.
2. Nature is beautiful, but I could do without the pieces of used toilet paper under a bush on the side of the trail and the trash pile at the bottom of the ravine.
3. I like sunsets. They symbolize the end of even the crappiest days.
4. I love my husband, so long as his jaw doesn’t do that weird clicky noise when he chews.
5. Clean sheets are the best. No, seriously, unlike going through the trouble of finding someone to hook up with, at least the orgasm is guaranteed with clean sheets.
6. Exercise is important for health. Unless you die of a heart attack on the treadmill, then you were too late and maybe you should have skipped the gym.
7. Do something you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life. Just kidding, you’ll still have to deal with people, and that’s always a lot of work.
8. It’s curious how “new year new me” quickly reverts back to “nope, I’m still the old me” around January 21st.
9. “Work hard play hard” maybe suits white douchy Wall Street brokers from the 90s as a life philosophy, but I’m more of a “do the bare minimum, then be in bed by 10PM” kind of gal
10. YOLO – well, yes, but that is exactly why we don’t go jumping off buildings for a Tik Tok challenge.

So… My comedic voice is a sassy pessimistic middle-aged wine mom with a bit of an edge. Oof, the cringe.

I’m going to bed.
And no, I have not changed the sheets 😦

**Credit: Intro to Stand Up Comedy: Write and Perform Your First Routine by Elizabeth Davie on Skillshare.